Learning to breathe
by WaffleStomper
Summary: After L is injured in an accident, Light must take care of the bed-ridden detective. But when they play a game of truth out of boredom, they realize some things about each other they wanted to keep hidden. Light/L, Yaoi.
1. What's the damage?

Soo, my first ever (published) fanfic

Soo, my first ever (published) fanfic! Yayyyyy. The premise should be pretty obvious if you read this chapter, but if not... I'm sorry. It takes place during the Yotsuba arc (that's why there's a chain). It's rated M for future yaoi, so be warned. Although if you clicked this even with the rating, I would think that you're okay with yaoi. Anyway, bear with me here XD.

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DISCLAIMER: If I owned Death Note, there would be scenes of Light in rabbit costumes. So it's probably a good thing I don't.

"Light-kun, I don't think this is necessary," L complained as the chain on his wrist dragged him reluctantly after the younger boy in front of him. "We could have simply asked Watari to get these items for us."

"But fresh air is _good _for you, L!" Light chirped. He hadn't been outside once since being chained to the detective, and he was damned if he let the insomniac ruin this.

"Light-kun, need I remind you that we are in a public area; and besides I prefer you call me Ryuzaki."

"Whatever," Light said dismissively.

L scooted slightly closer to his suspect. "Light-kun, people are staring," he noted.

"Did you consider the fact, Ryuzaki," Light asked icily, "that we are chained together?"

L looked down in surprise at the handcuffs connecting the two boys as if he hadn't known they were there. "Why ever would that cause them to stare, Light-kun?" He asked innocently, thought he knew perfectly well why.

Light dipped his head slightly to hide his blush. Ryuzaki was a little closer to him than was comfortable, and people _were _staring. "It's… well, it's… kind of… gay," he admitted lamely.

L cocked his head. "Gay, Light-kun?"

Light ground his teeth audibly. "_Yes_, Ryuzaki, GAY!" He spat, a little louder than he intended to.

L chewed his thumb thoughtfully. "More people are staring now, Light-kun."

Light tugged painfully on the chain, causing L to stumble forward. "Come on," he growled, dragging the bemused insomniac after him."

Passing by, he heard a small, white-haired boy mutter quietly to himself, "abusive relationship."

He glared back at the boy, and as such, he didn't see L running towards a cotton candy vendor across the stree, nor did he see the car speeding towards the man. The cries of "look out!" and "get out of the street!" fell on deaf ears as the impending disaster slowly dawned on Light.

He watched in horror as the automobile advanced in slow motion on his friend. "Ryuu!" he called out too late, as the car crashed into the unsuspecting detective. Light heard the crunch of bone as his arm was yanked by the chain, pulling him to L, who was surrounded by a group of onlookers. Rubbing his surely dislocated shoulder, he rushed to where L lay. The man's eyes were scrunched tight in pain he was trying not to show, but Light knew him well enough to see through his mask.

"Where does it hurt, Ryuzaki?" he asked, ignoring the pain in his arm.

"It does not hurt anywhere, Light-kun," L answered calmly, but Light could hear the stress in his voice. "However, I seem to have broken three ribs, and perhaps an arm. It would be advisable to get me to a hospital immediately."

Indeed, there were several nubs of bone poking out of L's exposed chest. Light's breath hissed in as he saw the extent of the damage to his friend's body.

"Ryuzaki, hang on, it'll be alright," he said as a woman beside them quickly dialed the ambulance. "You'll be okay…" He trailed off as the detective's onyx eyes fluttered shut.

--

Light paced nervously outside of the operating room. One of L's broken ribs had punctured a lung, and the doctors were unsure if there was internal bleeding. He cursed himself for ever thinking of taking L outside.

Sighing, he looked up as Watari entered the waiting room. The older man clutched several envelopes in his hand, fake identification, Light presumed. "How is he?" the man asked, but his eyes betrayed the truth.

"Bad," Light responded morosely. "The doctors say he'll live, but he could be in bed for months."

Watari shook his head. "And Kira could do anything in those months…"

Just then a young man in a surgeon's outfit stepped out of the room. "Mr. uhh… Yagami, could you step in for a moment?"

Light nodded and followed the man back inside. On the table lay the world's three greatest detectives, looking so small and fragile with his torso bound in gauze, eyes closed for the first time, Light realized, he had ever seen them.

"We don't know yet," the doctor murmured, "but he could be catatonic. If he does wake up, there is no telling if there was any damage to the brain."

Light nodded numbly. Of course, L's brain was undeniably very fragile. "What are the chances of him waking up?" He asked fearfully, not wanting to hear the answer.

"There is an 82.4 percent chance that Mr. Ryuga will wake up. However, the chances of him retaining all of his brain functions are very low."

Light blinked away tears at the familiar percentages. "I—I see. When will I be able to visit him?"

"He won't be out until midmorning, and he should rest for a while after that."

Light nodded again. He seemed to be doing that quite often recently. "I'll wait."

--

L couldn't think. He was in pain, he was sure of that. Why did he hurt? He had gone outside with Light for more cake, and then… what had happened?

The car. Truck. Whatever. He remembered Light's honey colored eyes staring down at him in fear and confusion. _He must not be Kira, then,_ L reasoned.

He mentally frowned. He would not give up on his suspicions so easily if he were not drugged. Then again, the drugs were good, weren't they? He tested, running through his body to see which parts were hurt. As he had suspected, his fourth, fifth, and sixth ribs were broken, but he could also feel a pressure on one side of his chest. _A lung?_ He wondered groggily. This medicine was getting on his nerves. Internally shrugging, he moved on. His right arm was undeniably broken, in at least two places. Damn. Maybe he should have been ambidextrous. His lower half felt okay, except for the right hip. Oh well. It seemed to be just a bruise, and that would heal with time. His spine, however…

If he could have laughed, he would have. No wonder his back hurt so much! They had straightened his spine out of its normal slouch. _I guess I'll be lying like this for a while,_ he reflected.

This process had only taken up a minute, and now that L's senses had cleared slightly, he was bored. At least that meant his head was fine, if he could reason properly.

Almost without noticing, his thoughts returned to Light. The boy had sounded so sincere when he reassured L that it would be all right. He couldn't be faking that, could he? The concern in those endless honey eyes…

He shook himself. _No. He is Kira. _That was an indisputable fact. Perhaps the boy had forgotten, but L was positive that he would remember. But for now…

Had he genuinely cared? It didn't seem like an act. He remembered hazily the teen carrying him gently to the ambulance, being careful not to jar any of his injuries. _It would have been so easy,_ he realized, _to kill me right then._

Unless he thought about it the other way. What if Light had set up the accident, and he was going to die in the hospital? It was plausible.

_No, _he told himself sternly. He would not think about that. It wasn't Light's fault that he got hit. Light had saved him, really. Yes. The more he thought about it, he was certain. _Only 0.7 percent chance that Light-kun is Kira now,_ he thought wryly. The boy would be relieved if he could have heard that.

Where was Light, anyway? Watari would be here with the medical information, but someone had to break the news to the task force, didn't they? The thought saddened him considerably, but he didn't know why. Poor Light. He was probably tearing himself up over it. _It wasn't your fault,_ L wanted to say, but of course he couldn't open his mouth.

It really was an interesting sensation, floating in the darkness like this. He assumed that the drugs had numbed the pain, because it only came to him distantly, if he focused. It was quite nice, actually.

As soon as the thought left his mind, he felt a needle enter his uninjured arm, and the last thing he remembered was Light's face, lit from behind by the abnormally bright sun, looking down at him.

--

Light stared down at the sleeping form on the hospital bed beside him. He looked so innocent, so breakable, in sleep. _If I were Kira, the perfect time to kill him would be right now,_ he realized, then gasped at the meaning of his thoughts. Why was he thinking that? He wasn't Kira!

_I'm just examining this from all angles,_ he assured himself. Returning his gaze to the prone detective, he saw the man's brow furrow in worry. Guilt instantly flooded him. It was his fault. He leaned against the uninjured side of the detective's chest, holding back tears. L was going to die, and it was all his fault. God, what had he done?

"Ryuzaki…" Light murmured into the detective's chest. "I'm sorry..."

And only then, in sleep, did the corners of L's mouth lift, ever so slightly, at the words.

_It's okay, Light-kun. I forgive you._

* * *

Edit: thanks to all the people who pointed out to me that a bike couldn't have done that much damage, and my mistake with the rib numbering. I promise you all that I will never write a chapter at 2 AM again without re-reading it in the morning. xD

Please R and R, love it, hate it, whatever.


	2. That's too long without sugar

Hello again! Thanks for all your reviews, they're very encouraging to someone new to the fanfiction business.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Death Note

* * *

L blinked slowly. Why was it so bright? The light was hurting his eyes. He opened them a crack, then they flew open at the sight of what hovered a few inches before them.

"Light-kun!" He screamed. Or rather, choked. It came out as more of a strangled cough.

Light's eyes narrowed. "Ryuzaki, do you need water?"

L found himself unable to move his head enough to nod, but his eyes said yes. Light left and returned moments later with a paper cup filled with water. He held it out to L expectantly for a few seconds, before withdrawing his hand.

"Oh yeah. I forgot." He tipped the cup to L's lips, making sure that no water spilled on the hospital gown. L downed the water greedily, and tried to speak again.

"Light-kun… what you said a few moments ago…" He began, and was relieved that his voice sounded mostly normal. "It's not your fault."

Light's eyes widened. "Ryuzaki, I wasn't… I wasn't talking to you earlier." His voice sounded worried, as if his fears that L's brain had been damaged had been proved.

A sinking feeling came over L. "How long has it been since my… accident?" He asked uncertainly.

"Almost a month," Light said gravely.

L's eyes, which he had closed for a moment, flew open in shock. "A _month?!_" he croaked. "I have to get back!" He tried to get up, but felt Light's hand on his chest, pinning him to the hospital bed.

"No," was all he said. "No. You need rest before we can even _think_ of moving you."

L began to protest, but was cut off by Light's angry voice. "Do you have _any _idea how many injuries you have? We thought you were going to die! It's a miracle you're even talking to me! _Do you realize what you almost did?!_" The teen sank down and put his head in his hands. "You almost left us," he said in a quiet voice. "I was so scared."

To L's shock, tears began to seep through the younger boy's fingers. "We thought we would never see you again…" he whispered.

L's eyes softened at the teen's distress. "Light-kun…I didn't think you cared."

The teen looked up. "Of course I do! You're the only person I've ever met who was interesting at all, and I almost killed you! How do you think I feel?"

"Light-kun, I'm sorry. I promise I won't make you almost kill me again."

He felt Light frown. "You'd better not."

L smiled slightly. "I'll try."

He felt Light's chuckle. "Good enough."

L was quiet for a moment. "…Light-kun…"

"Mm? What is it?"

"How long did you stay with me?"

Light looked down into the curious black orbs. "The entire time," he admitted sheepishly.

L sighed. "Idiot…" he murmured.

Light laughed. "I saved your life, and all you can call me is idiot? Surely you must have something better."

L grinned evilly. "Very well… idiot-san."

Light sighed. "You're impossible."

"Perhaps."

"Not perhaps, Ryuzaki. Completely impossible."

"Light-kun?"

"Yes?"

"I haven't had candy in a month."

"I'm sorry," Light began, "but it'll be a little longer than a month..."

"What do you mean I can't eat yet?" L yelled. "I need sugar!"

Light just shook his head. "You need to recover. Sugar is bad for you anyway."

"Is not," L pouted.

Light had to restrain himself from laughing at L's facial expression. _You're so funny when you're mad, Ryuzaki._

"It's not funny!" The older man protested hotly.

"Yes, it is."

"Percentage raised to 3.9 for laughing at me."

"Really, Ryuzaki, you don't have the right to be spewing percentages at me right now. I saved your life, remember?" As L nodded grudgingly, he realized something.

"Where's the chain?"

"I think Watari has it," Light told him.

"Have him bring it here, please."

"Ryuzaki! You can't be planning to chain us together in a hospital!"

"I have to keep a watch on you."

Light shook his head. "No, Ryuzaki, for once you're not getting your way."

"Fine."

It was quiet for a minute while L thought, but the silence only lasted so long. "Light-kun, I need _sweets!_"

--

The day L returned was a holiday for the whole task force.

"Welcome back, Ryuzaki!" Matsuda shouted, an idiotic grin plastered on his face. Mogi raised an eyebrow as Light carried L over the threshold bridal-style, but was silence by a jab in the ribs from Aizawa.

The two boys were followed by Soichiro and Watari, both looking relieved that the journey had gone well.

L smiled weakly at the rest of the staff. "I'm sorry. I guess my body is not up to as much physical exertion as I thought."

"It's okay, Ryuzaki," Soichiro said gently. "Rest for a while. We'll be fine," he added, seeing the look in L's eyes. "We managed without you for a month."

"Don't remind me," L muttered, but only loud enough for Light to hear. The youth grinned at this comment, and began to walk towards the elevator.

"God, Ryuzaki, do you exercise in the middle of the night? You weigh nothing!"

"Well, I haven't had sugar for a month," L reminded him grumpily.

"Oh, cheer up," Light said, rolling his eyes. "At least we're back."

"_I'm_ back," L corrected him. "You could have left anytime you wanted to."

Light shook his head. "No, I couldn't." He was about to step into the elevator when a shreik was heard from a blonde girl who was running down the stairs two at a time.

"Liiiight!" The blonde squealed, running towards them. "Misa has missed you so much!" She barreled into Light, almost knocking L to the floor. The raven-haired man gasped in pain as his arm fell from its position on his stomach.

"Misa!" Light yelled, "look what you've done!"

Misa immediately looked down. "Misa is sorry, Light."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Ryuzaki," Light said coldly, and continued to walk. L looked back in time to see the hurt in the blonde's eyes.

"Light-kun," he began hesitantly.

"Don't tell me to be nice to her," Light interrupted. "I'm tired of pretending to like her. And how am I supposed to put up with her when she's hurting you?"

L nodded. "Very well, Light-kun." But his mind was working furiously. _He does not like Amane-san. Who does he like, then?_ He knew he shouldn't care about something so childish and trivial, but it had caught his interest. And when L cared about something, he made sure that he figured it out. No matter what.

He was brought out of his reverie when the elevator doors clanged open, and Light stepped into their room.

"…..Light-kun?" L asked dubiously as he gazed at the redecorated room.

"Yes?" Light gently lowered L to the bed, stretching his arms after the trek from the limo.

"_What did you do to our room?"_

Light looked affronted. "I simply made it easier for you to work from bed."

"Light-kun," L said, as patiently as he could. "My bed now has a _fold-out desk_."

Light looked crestfallen. "You don't like it? Mogi made it himself for you."

"It's fine, Light-kun, but you realize you could have simply allowed me to use my laptop as it was intended to be used, on my lap."

"If that's how you want to work, Ryuzaki, that's fine," Light stated coldly. "I'll be downstairs with the task force if you need anything."

L looked shocked. "Oh, no, Light-kun. I'm afraid I can't let my suspect out of my sight. You will have to stay here with me."

Light's eyes flashed murderously, but he managed to keep his temper in check. "If it's necessary," he stated, not wanting to be accused of being Kira. Again.

"Oh, it is," L replied, smirking. "Now, Light-kun, as it appears I am stuck here, I will require someone to fetch my meals, and things like that. Do you feel that you are up to that task?"

"What? Of course I can do something simple like that!"

"Good, because I require cake."

* * *

Wow, I just realized that both of the sections in this chapter end with L mentioning sugar. XD He has a very one-track mind. (Or more likely I do)  
Aaaand, I just felt like having Mogi be good a carpentry. I dunno why.

Anyway, I beleive I shall continue to torture Light, but don't worry, the fluff will begin soon!


	3. Raging teenage hormones, indeed

Hey all, and sorry for the slow updates. I've had two concerts in a row, and more to come. This chapter isn't as long, but I won't be updating for a while, and I've already made you guys wait. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Death Note does not belong to me

* * *

"You know, Ryuzaki," Light commented, watching L savor the last bits of his cake, "all this sugar can't be very good for your recovery."

L merely stuck his tongue out, showing Light a glob of frosting still resting on the tip. "And that's what I think of that," he stated.

Light sighed and turned back to his computer. The raven-haired man was so god damn _annoying. _How was anyone supposed to concentrate on anything when that under-rested panda man was sitting three feet away from them, staring at them with those strange grey eyes that sucked you into their unreadable depths?

"I'm, uh, going to get some water," the younger boy said hurriedly, scrambling out of bed as fast as he could. He had to get away from the detective. He didn't know how much longer he could take that stare. Not long, he decided.

But why did the man's stare bother him? Could it be how lifeless those eyes looked, so emotionless? But no, they weren't emotionless. They lit up whenever Light brought L a particularly delicious looking cake, and they glinted with mischief whenever he ordered Light to do things for him. So what was it? The man confused him, and Light was never confused. It was a new feeling, not being in control of the situation. Light wasn't sure if he liked it.

A voice from the bedroom brought him out of his contemplation. "Light-kun, I believe it is time for my shower."

Light rolled his eyes as he stepped back into the room. "We've discussed this before, Ryuzaki. You're not supposed to take showers."

"I know, I know, I can't get out of bed," L grumbled. "But I feel so unclean!"

"There's a first," Light muttered under his breath.

"What did you say, Light-kun?" L asked curiously.

"I was just wondering if there was another way," Light lied.

"There's always sponge baths," L suggested.

"_Sponge baths?_"

L raised an almost non-existent eyebrow. "Yes, Light-kun, sponge baths. Surely you have heard of them, where one uses a sponge to—"

"Well, yes, I know that, Ryuzaki," Light interrupted, sounding flustered, "but, what I want to know is, how would you do it? You can't clean your back and legs, not one-handed."

L put his thumb to his lip, apparently deep in thought. "Ah, that is a valid point, Light-kun. I had not thought of that. What does Light-kun propose I do?"

"Well, uh, I don't know, Ryuzaki. What do you think you should do?"

"It seems to me," L began, and Light could see the familiar glint in his eyes. "That as I am unable to wash myself, someone else should do it for me."

Light blinked. "I'll get Watari."

"Watari is out buying cake," L smirked.

"Well, then," Light said slowly, as if speaking to a small child, "you can wait until Watari retuns, no?"

L huffed. "Fine. But I feel so _dirty,_ Yagami-kun!"

_Yagami,_ Light thought as he continued to stare at the impatient detective. _He's reverted to my last name, so he must want something. But what? Maybe—no. No, he wouldn't. _Light shook his head in frustration. _That's just the kind of thing he _would_ do, isn't it. If I refuse, I'm Kira, and if I do it, then he gets to tease me the entire time. Damn._

"Alright, Ryuzaki," he said, resigned to these mind games. "But there are some rules." L cocked an eyebrow. "One, there will be a towel at all times." Light glared, daring the detective to challenge him.

"Two. Yagami-kun will be gentle."

"Three," Light continued, ignoring the man beside him, "you will not move around."

"Four, Yagami-kun will not do anything indecent while I am in his power," L stated calmly.

"Five, I—what? Eew, no, Ryuzaki!"

"Is Yagami-kun perhaps homophobic?" L asked innocently. "It would be understandable, considering the society he was brought up in, but I would expect that he would be a little more open minded—"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," Light hurriedly explained. "I have nothing wrong with gay people, it's just, me, with—with _you_, and, and…"

"I see." L looked at the furiously blushing boy. "I assure Light-kun that I will do nothing to provoke his teenage hormones."

"I'm not a teenager," Light pouted, noting that L had returned to 'Light-kun'. "And besides, if you did anything to my hormones, which you don't, I would have… I would have done something by now," he finished lamely, aware that L was staring at him with a new interest.

"Perhaps…" the older man murmured, thumb once again at his lips.

"Your, uh, your sponge bath, Ryuzaki," Light said nervously.

"Oh! Yes, I'm sorry, Light-kun, do you wish to get on with it?"

Light blinked and hurried out of the room to find a sponge.

--

"You're done," Light said, stepping back from the man who lay sprawled across the floor, towel hitched almost seductively over one leg.

"Really? I don't feel done…" L mused. "There are parts of me that are still dry, Light-kun."

Light blushed. "Yes, well, I'm not… I don't want to clean those areas."

"Is there a problem, Light-kun? I believe you have seen me naked before."

"W-well, yes, but…" _But I never had to touch you._

"Then I believe Light-kun will have no difficulties." He began to slide the towel down his hips, causing Light's eyes to widen as the teenage took an involuntary step back.

"I—I," Light stammered, his throat suddenly dry. "I really don't think—" He was silenced by a glare from L. Sighing, he bent down and began to gingerly wash the detective.

"I see Light-kun is uncomfortable here," L commented. "Which is a pity, because the front of me is still not clean."

Light's eyes narrowed, and he tossed the sponge onto L's back. "Clean it yourself," he muttered, embarrassed, and walked stiffly out of the room, leaving L stranded on the floor, stark naked.

--

Approximately ten minutes later, Watari, returning from the bakery, heard a shrill scream from his master's bedroom that sounded suspiciously like the voice of Soichiro Yagami.

Arriving at the source of the noise, the startled butler found the NPA chief staring in abject horror at the scene before him: L, still lying in his position on the floor, head resting on his jeans, hidden only the shirt that lay across his thighs. Light's shirt.

"I can see why Light-kun would be reluctant to reveal his sexual preferences to you, Yagami-san," he remarked conversationally. "Ah, Watari. Could you help me up? This is fairly uncomfortable."

* * *

:D Poor Light. But never fear, he will finally realize why he's so embarrassed in about... next chapter.


	4. No secret to keep

So sorry for not updating! I have nothing from here until Thanksgiving though, so hopefully things should go faster.  
On a brighter note, thanks for all the reviews and alerts. They make me happy :)

DISCLAIMER: I always forget these, but Death Note is not mine

* * *

Light stared down at his hands, holding them in his lap. Why couldn't he stop looking at the detective? It was like his eyes were drawn to him as soon as he lost focus. He couldn't work like this.

_I have to get him out of my mind!_ He thought desperately. Stupid Ryuzaki. It was all because he had made those suggestive comments during his "bath" yesterday, and now he had got Light thinking that way too. _It's not like I'd even want to… ew. No. I don't even want to go there._

He turned back to his laptop, resolving not to think about L for the rest of the day.

This was going to be difficult.

Meanwhile, L was busy not staring at his suspect. The man's hair never moved. Did he gel it, or what? He shook his head almost imperceptibly, although he was sure that Light would notice. Why was he thinking about his suspect's hair? Why did he care what Light looked like?

It was because of the sponge bath, he decided. It had started out as just needling Light, because the boy was so fun to annoy. But then, for a reason he didn't quite understand, he'd decided to take it as far as he could. But why? He couldn't deny he hadn't enjoyed the feeling of Light's hands gently caressing his body. _Maybe I crave human touch,_ he guessed. Yes, that must be right. But he hadn't felt like that when Watari had bathed him.

Watari had helped L finish cleaning himself, no questions asked, although he did glance suspiciously towards Light's shirt several times. The thought made L smile. He felt slightly bad for Light, because Soichiro was not going to let an incident like this go undiscussed. Okay, maybe he didn't feel bad at all. Hell, he couldn't wait.

------

Yagami Soichiro shuffled his papers nervously, hesitating before he entered the bedroom. He coughed once, and ran a hand through his thinning hair. All this stress in his life was going to give him a heart attack, no pun intended. Steeling himself, he pushed open the door.

Only to find his son and his employer sitting on opposite sides of the bed, resolutely **not looking at each other whatsoever. **Nope, not looking. Both men sat stiffly, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Soichiro cleared his throat.

"Ahh, Light. G-good morning. And good morning to you too, Ryuzaki," he stated uncertainly. "Son, I, ah, I want to talk to you about the… incident that occurred yesterday."

L's demeanor brightened visibly, as Light's shoulders stiffened. "….What incident, Dad?"

Soichiro shifted in embarrassment. L took a bite out of his cheesecake, the day suddenly looking a lot brighter. "Look, Light, I've talked to your mother, and we both want you to know that whatever you decide to… do… with your life, we will always love you and support you, no matter what."

Light slowly turned towards his father, his expression of pure horror almost making L laugh. "I—no, dad, it's not like that, Ryuzaki just wanted…"

Soichiro nodded in what he must have thought was an understanding way, but what looked more like he was about to be sick. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I've, um, done some reading, and most boys your age are embarrassed about their sexuality."

L smirked at the strangled gasping noises coming from the younger boy's throat. "If you wish, Yagami-san, I can take Light-kun for counseling sessions."

Soichiro nodded, visibly relieved that L was cooperating. His eye had begun to twitch slightly, and it was all the police chief could do not to kill the poor man then and there for dirtying his son.

"No—wait—" Light managed to choke out. "Me and Ryuzaki didn't—no! No, it's not like that! It was a sponge bath—"

"It's okay, Light-chan," L said gently, inwardly cackling with glee. Oh, this day was looking better and better every minute. "We don't have to keep it a secret."

Light, who had apparently regained the ability to breathe, at least for the moment, shot a glare at the detective. "We don't have to keep it secret," he growled, "because there's not secret to KEEP!"

"Yagami-san," L said calmly, "could you leave us for a while?"

Soichiro nodded and hurriedly exited the room. As soon as the door was closed, Light rounded on his friend.

"What the _fuck?!_"

"Is there something wrong, Light-kun?" L inquired innocently.

"Why, yes, Ryuzaki, there _is_ something wrong," Light hissed through clenched teeth. His temper was set to snap in five… four… three… two…

"And whatever might that be?" One…

"MY HOMOPHOBIC FATHER NOW THINKS I'M _GAY,_ DAMMIT!" The college student shouted. "And you didn't help the situation at all! Honestly! 'Light-chan?' Do you _want_ him to murder me with his bare hands?"

"That would certainly get the issue of whether or not you are Kira out of the way," L mused.

Light sank on to the bed, defeated. "I don't know why I saved you from that car, Ryuzaki," he grumbled.

L's eyes widened. "Do you really mean that, Light-kun?"

Light put his head in his hands. "I don't know, Ryuzaki. I really don't know."

L thought for a moment, and then decided that apologetic was the best way to go. "I am sorry, Light-kun. I thought the best way to diffuse the situation was to play along with your father."

Light smiled slightly, regaining his composure. "That's a lie, Ryuzaki, and we both know it. You just wanted to tease me, didn't you?"

L grinned. It was a nice change to be around people who understood you. "You know me too well, Light-kun."

Light flopped back onto the bed, careful not to jar the detective on the other side. "Maybe, but how else would I stand you? It's a wonder you haven't driven me insane already."

"I am truly sorry to hear that, Light-kun. I will try my hardest from now on to drive you insane more quickly."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Then it's working, isn't it?"

Poor Light XD Soichiro tries to be understanding, but it won't be long before L does something else... Is it just me, or is tormenting Light really, really fun?


	5. Knight in shining armor

Hello again loyal fans! I guess I lied about more frequent updates. T.T;; It's not going to get any better for a while, so sorry. Probably around Thanksgiving things will start to speed up. On a happier note, the election is finally over! No more campaign ads! Whooo! Not dragging politics into this, but at least I can turn on my TV safely again.  
Anyway, read read read! =3 The second paragraph of italics is a dream flashback, just so you know.

* * *

"_Hyuk hyuk hyuk… See you later, Light."_

_The demonic, scratchy voice sent chills up Light's spine. He could not see the source of the noise, but he knew that if he could just _remember,_ then everything would make sense._

_A book. There was a book. He had gotten rid of the book. Why? He was innocent. Not Kira. He had never been Kira. So why did the demon haunt his sleep?_

"No…" L blinked open his large, expressionless eyes and peered at the teen sleeping next to him. "…no, I'm not Kira… leave me… alone… you monster… no… no, I hate… apples… I've always hated apples… go away…"

The boy was twitching fitfully in his sleep, his normally perfectly carved face twisted into a grimace as he continued to whimper. "…won't kill… monster… not Kira…" His murmurings grew more and more jumbled, until they stopped altogether. Assuming Light's nightmare had ended, the detective closed his eyes again and tried to get comfortable in his position on his back. He hated sleeping like this.

He had almost drifted off when he heard a faint whisper.

"Ryuzaki…"

He strained his ears to hear the murmured words. "Make it stop, Ryuzaki… make Kira leave… Ryuzaki… hold me… I don't want to die…"

The auburn haired boy lapsed back into a fitful sleep, twisting the bedsheets around his body. L frowned and pulled the blankets back towards him. Light fumbled in his sleep, missing the warmth of the comforter. His search brought his hands to L's arm, which he curled around, nuzzling his cheek into the hollow between L's shoulder and neck. "Hnnn…warm… no more Kira…"

L smiled a little at the boy curled up beside him. The teen radiated warmth and peace, and L found himself drifting off as well.

----

Light blinked several times to clear his head. The light hit his eyes painfully after the dark of his pillow. He groggily flopped his face back into it, then immediately shot up, wide awake, at what his head touched. He stared down at the detective sleeping peacefully below him, neck red from where Light's cheek had been pressed against it. He thought in horror back on the previous night, wondering what on earth could have made him seek comfort from _L _of all people.

He remembered a nightmare. The same one he had every night, that he could never remember by morning. But he felt that this time, it had been different. The nightmare had ended well.

_Red eyes advanced on him from the darkness, glowing in a shadowed face. He knelt desperately, hiding his face from the terrible creature. "K-kira…" The sinister being loomed over him, as always, and he felt its hands on his throat. Blackness overcame his eyes, and then— a light, bluish and soothing, washing over his tortured body, healing it. The killer backed away, its limbs disintegrating on contact with the light. He looked up, and saw two familiar eyes. "Light-kun."_

L had saved him. L had stopped the nightmare. He gazed at the sleeping man with newfound wonder. How could someone as insensitive and uncaring as him dispel the darkness and fear that came with his sleep?

Shaking his head, he crawled off the bed so as not to disturb L, and walked to the bathroom.

----

Once L heard the shower running, he opened his eyes. He had felt the boy stiffen when he woke up, realizing what he had grabbed onto in the night. A small whimper had escaped his lips as he relived the nightmare, but then his body had relaxed and his grip on L's arm had loosened.

He lay there, not willing to wake up yet, listening to the water drumming on the tile in the other room. Had he really banished Light's nightmare? He didn't know how he had done it, as he had never cared what others dreamed about before. But it seemed that by simply touching Light-kun, he had calmed the teen. Sighing, he took out his laptop and flipped open the screen, resuming the night's work.

Light emerged from the bathroom, towel around his skinny hips, and did a double take when he saw L, awake, already typing away.

"Ryuzaki!"

L looked up, seemingly unconcerned with Light's state of undress. _It's like I thought, he really is asexual,_ Light mused, before shaking his head. "How many times have I told you not to sit like that?"

L's eyes grew wide in fake innocence. "Sit like what, Light-kun? This is how I always sit."

Light eyed the slumped shoulders and extended neck. That couldn't be healthy. "Ryuzaki…" he began rummaging for a pair of socks. "That's why the doctors straightened out your spine! Do you want it to heal like that?"

He turned back towards the bed, only to find L staring at him placidly.

"…Never mind."

* * *

Aaaagh... I started this series with Light's english name and now I'm really regretting it... I can't change it in the middle either. Never going to do that again.


	6. Keep it inside

Wow, I'm prolific! :D Two chapters less than a week apart. Anyway, I'll be gone for a week, so don't expect another quick update D:

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Death Note

* * *

Light couldn't help it. He had been confined here for over a week now. What did Ryuzaki expect him to do? He sighed and leaned back against the wall of the shower, letting the warm water run in translucent rivulets down his body. At last, he could relax…

…To an extent. The glass in the shower door was clear, and the open bathroom door afforded Ryuzaki a perfect view of his suspect. Light sighed once more, this time in exasperation, and turned his back on the raven-haired man who was watching him so intensely. A little _too_ intensely.

"L."

"Ryuzaki."

"Ryuzaki?"

"Call me Ryuzaki."

"Oooo-kaaaay…" Light drew out the word skeptically. "Anyway, could you please stop staring? It's not really a comfortable thing."

L just blinked owlishly. "I'm sorry Light-kun, but it is necessary to observe you."

"Yeah, well you could observe me some other time!" Light shouted, gesturing wildly. He momentarily stopped talking as he lost his balance and had to clutch onto the wall for support, but then resumed his tirade. "Couldn't you at least put a censor bar or something?" He moved his hand back and forth at about waist level, indicating where the censor bar should be placed.

"As I stated before, I'm sorry. However, I need to observe _all_ of you to insure that you are not reverting to your Kira state."

Light blinked. Opened his mouth. And blinked again. He gaped for several seconds, before finding the words he wanted. "You think_ that's _how I'm killing people?"

L shrugged. "It is a possibility. We have not yet learned how Kira makes his kills." He stared pointedly at Light's midriff. "Unless, of course, you would care to show us."

"God, get the fuck away from me," Light growled, turning once again so that his backside was facing L. _And what a nice ass it is,_ L thought appreciatively. _Nononononono. No thinking thoughts like that about anyone. Especially not him._

Light sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day as he felt the detective's gaze return to his body. _So he wants to watch, does he? If that's what he wants, then why don't I give him a show._ Smirking slightly, Light turned around so that he was once again facing L, stretching his arms behind his head in a way that emphasized all the muscles in his torso and abdomen. From the way L's eyes were fixated on him, he was fully ready for blood to start pouring out of the man's nose. But this was L, and L had more control than that. _It seems it will take more that just this to break him._ But Light had all the time in the world, and not even the great detective L could resist his shameless flaunting for long.

He stepped carefully out of the shower, legs lifting gracefully, giving L a view of those perfectly toned calves, and up to other areas of Light's anatomy. He almost tried to cover himself up, but caught himself at the last moment, thinking, _well there's a bad time to have my sense of decency kick in. Where were you these past months?_

L's eyes hungrily traced Light's every move as he toweled his perfect hair, the detective marveling that the younger boy didn't even gel his hair. It must be something in the shampoo.

Light laughed silently to himself as the raven-haired man's gaze shifted momentarily to his head, then back to waist level. What was it about perfect hair that fascinated the man? Then again, he thought, what wasn't there to be fascinated by?

L stared unabashedly as Light moved seductively around the room, positively _swaying_ his hips as he meandered over towards the dresser. He was trying to tease L, obviously. And damn, it was working. He noticed with a growing horror his increasingly tight pants. How could the boy be _doing _this to him? _Think rationally,_ L told himself. The teen was undeniably hot. _It must be the aesthetic aspect. I haven't seen anyone as delicious-looking as him for quite a— _he stopped. _Delicious-looking? L, you've gone off the deep end._ Oh well. If he was already gone, might as well enjoy it while it lasted. He leaned back, watching Light shimmy into a pair of pants, then scowled as he remembered his own problem. Nice time to get a hard-on, with cause of said problem constantly in the room, and no real means of fixing it. Great. If he could just get Light to leave, he could deal with his other problem.

"Light-kun, I require several files from downstairs," he announced. Light looked surprised, but excited at the prospect of leaving the drab room.

"I thought I wasn't allowed out of here?" He said. It was a question really, not a statement.

"I am making an allowance, as Watari is out for the moment," L lied.

Light shrugged. "Sure. Give me the list of files, and I'll be back."

L named off several files and Light opened the door and walked towards the elevators, shutting the door after him. As soon as he was sure the boy wouldn't be back soon, L lay back. He had to do something about this, preferably discourage it, as dealing with it would be slightly messier. Hmm. Think about Watari. Watari naked. Oh, that's lovely. Watari naked with Roger. Okay, no. Misa. Watari with Misa.

L opened his eyes, horrified. What was he _thinking?_ Shaking his head to get rid of the mental images, he noticed with satisfaction that his erection had disappeared. Although he wasn't sure if that was worth the horrible images branded to the insides of his eyelids. Closing his eyes, he slid down under the covers, hiding his face. It was a perfectly thing. It was simply the urge to reproduce, technically. But he didn't _want _to be normal. He had tried all his life to quell his emotions, and had succeeded—on the outside. All anyone ever saw of him was a blank façade, or perhaps a hint of annoyance. And most of the time, that was all there was on the inside too. But occasionally, the barrier he had built up in his heart faltered, and these strange feelings pushed through. Being around the boy seemed to cause them, oddly.

Speaking of the boy, there he was, standing in the doorway with a stack of folders in his hands. Seeing the slightly shaking lump in the covers, he dropped the paperwork and rushed to L's side, to find the older man curled up in his usual position despite the doctor's orders, thumb to lips, eyes squeezed shut to keep the tears from seeping out. They leaked out from beneath his eyelids anyway, running tracks down his pale face and pooling on his cheeks. Light pulled back his hand, unsure of what to do. He had never been comfortable around crying people, and to see the stoic L curled into a protective ball in front of him alarmed him even further.

"Ryuzaki?" He asked in a concerned tone, his warm sepia eyes widening as the man didn't respond, just shook his head slightly. "Is there something wrong? Does something hurt?" That was the only reason he could think of as to why the man was crying, from physical pain.

"I am fine, Light-kun," came the small voice from behind the detective's hand. "I believe, however, that there are several files I forgot to have you bring up."

Light frowned, placing a hand on L's shoulder, knowing that this was as far as the detective was going to let them touch. "That's a lie, and we both know it. What's really up?" He paused for a moment, realization striking his features. "Is it because of what I did earlier?"

L shook his head again, but Light just shot a disbelieving look towards his back. Helping L to sit up again, he bent down so they were on eye level. "What is it, L? If it's something that's going to affect the case, then I have to know about it," he said sternly.

At the use of his name, L looked up, blinking the tears out of his eyes. "Why did you call me L?"

"Because," Light said absently, hand still on the raven-haired man's shoulder. "I'm not going to comfort someone using his alias."

L stiffened. "I don't need comforting, Light-kun. I will be fine in a few moments."

"You probably will," Light agreed, "but it won't solve the problem, will it? If you keep bottling those feelings up, you'll go crazy."

L stared uncomprehendingly at Light. "I—I need to think," he said quietly, looking down. Light simply nodded, walking into the kitchen. L stared after him.

_Maybe I should say something. I'm never going to find someone else I can tell anything. Why waste my only chance?_

Ehh, I don't know. I'm not so happy with this chapter. Maybe I'll change it? And I know L seems a bit ooc here, but I'm building up to something. Don't worry!  
Love ya all! 3

* * *


	7. Let's play a game!

I am a horrible, horrible person, I know. I honestly have no excuse for not updating, except that I really just couldn't get this chapter to work. I'm still not exactly satisfied with it, but I figured I should post anyway, since it's been almost a month. And yeah, I know Light is ooc and all that, but he's in looooove! :) Give the guy some slack. Anyway, the next chapter WILL come soon! It's already halfway done. Yeah. Go read, or, if you're like me, go back a chapter to try and remember what the story's about XD

DISCLAIMER: As far as I know, I am neither Obha or Obata-sensei, so no, I don't own Death Note. But things change.

* * *

L rustled his papers once again, aware of the intense gaze trained on him. God, that boy made him feel uncomfortable. It was like those sepia eyes of his melted down all of his defenses…

He shuddered as coughs wracked his frame, tearing at his throat. Ugh, how did he manage to get sick? He never got sick. How did normal people stand feeling this horrible so often?

"Ryuzaki?" Light's voice was slightly concerned as he turned to face the detective. "Are you sure you don't need anything?"

L shrugged, grimacing at his raw throat. It would probably be best to minimize talking, but the auburn-haired teen was having none of that. "As I am taking medication, Light-kun, I believe I will be fine. This illness should go away in a couple of days."

Light frowned, going into what L liked to call his 'mother mode'. He hadn't known such a part of Light's personality existed until the accident. To tell the truth, he found Light's admonitions hilarious. "That's true, but for the medicines to work, you have to let your body heal naturally too," he reminded the older man in a patronizing tone. "You'll get better much faster if you sleep."

The raven-haired detective sighed but obeyed, closing his laptop gently. "Very well." He paused, looking at the apparently concerned boy. "Good night, Light-kun."

Light blinked, unsure of how to respond to such a natural thing to say. "Good…goodnight?" He managed to stammer before turning away to hide the heat rising in his cheeks. Why was he blushing at such a perfectly normal statement? It could be just because this was the first time Ryuzaki had said anything of the like to him. But something told him it was more to do with the day's peculiar events.

Reassuring himself that Ryuzaki's eyes were not on him, he pulled his shirt over his head, closing his eyes for a few blissful moments. He leaned back against the semi-cool wall, resting his head on it. Ever since the imprisonment, things had become so _confusing._ Especially _him_. He directed a glare in the detective's general directions, making sure that the man was asleep first. It wouldn't do any good to raise his Kira suspicions now.

Letting his feet slip slowly out from under him, he sank down to the floor, putting his head to his knees. The darkness was soothing to his tired eyes, and he let his restless mind wander as he sat there.

That man… filled his thoughts every minute of the day. It wasn't just because they were always together, or even because he had to take care of the man. There was just something special about Ryuzaki.

His intelligence was obvious. Ryuzaki was the only person Light had ever met with whom he could hold an interesting conversation. Also, his complete and utter lack of social graces made him surprisingly easy to get along with. Well, in a way. It was easy to understand Ryuzaki, because he didn't joke. However, he didn't have the politeness to keep his often rude comments to himself. It was childish really, the way he was completely unaware of how one was supposed to behave in public. _That's just part of his charm, I guess,_ Light thought, then shot up. _Wait, what did I just think? _Charm? _That's like saying a hippo has grace! I need sleep. Or medication._ With that, Light quietly began to knock his head against the wall in a futile attempt to dislodge a few brain cells, hopefully the ones that had caused those irrational thoughts.

----

L watched in amusement through half-lidded eyes as Light continued to beat himself up over whatever he had been thinking. Light was so cute when he was in denial.

Wait, what on earth did he just think? L knew he was gay. It frankly had never mattered to him, as there was no one on the planet who he could possibly be attracted to. Except this boy. But that wasn't possible. Light-kun was a suspect. No. He couldn't. And yet, he was.

If the surprising turn of the day's events was anything to go by, then he was definitely attracted to the irritable teen. Of course, that made it all the more difficult to be chained to him. It wasn't so much the proximity as L's long-suppressed sexuality finally rearing its ugly head at the most inopportune of times. Yes, L thought, there was definitely a problem with this arrangement.

He gave an almost inaudible sigh as he felt the bed shift slightly, still not giving any signs that he was awake. Soon, a warm body lay beside him, not asleep yet. He allowed his lips to twitch upwards, and "unconsciously" snuggled closer.

----

Light sighed and allowed himself to melt into the warm figure pressed against his back. It was nice, at times like these, to just forget about Kira, forget about everything except for… L. Well, of course he couldn't forget L; the man was right next to him. But Light had the feeling that he would be thinking about the insomniac even if they weren't sleeping in the same bed. Or in his case, thinking.

Why did he let the man get to him like this? He should keep his emotions behind a blank façade as he always did, but somehow he found himself unable to. _What is this?_

_He's the only person I've ever met who's as smart as me, maybe even smarter,_ he reasoned. _But that doesn't explain these feelings. Sort of… tingling, everywhere, when he looks at me._ All the signs pointed to the obvious. Light had read enough of his sister's romance novels to know that this was a symptom of love. But of course, if there was one thing Light excelled at, it was denial. _If it was even anything, which it __**isn't**__, it would be physical attraction. Not that he's good looking or anything, just the strangeness of it all. That's it._

And so, Light did what he did best. Deep down, he knew that he was just fooling himself. But this case was going to get them killed anyway, so as long as he kept it buried until one of them died, he was good, right? He looked down and over his shoulder to the quietly breathing detective. _Hm, he's much less creepy with his eyes closed. Almost… cute._ Had he been fully conscious, he would have berated himself for thinking that. Keeping with the denial thing, you know. As it was, he smiled slightly and shifted so he was facing the detective, closing his eyes as soon as his head hit the pillow.

----

L opened his eyes, free to move about now. Or he would have been, if it weren't for the man currently spooning him, which was most likely unintentional on Light's part. There was that 1% chance, though…

Hmm. 1% wasn't nearly enough, but he was L. He had tried things with worse percentages than that and come out unscathed. Anything with an over zero percent success rate was game for him. And he couldn't stand waiting any longer.

That was it then. He would finally know for sure, one way or the other. A few hours, though, to give Light some time to get good and sleepy. The younger man would never say something like that if he were awake. And so, L waited.

----

It took only an hour for Light to enter the deepest level of sleep, but it seemed to take years to the bored detective. He had taken to running through scenarios in his head, which is what he usually did when catching criminals. _Fitting, I suppose,_ he thought, _considering he's Kira._

He looked up when he noticed the change in Light's breathing. The room was completely dark, except for the flashing red numbers on the alarm clock. 1:57. He smiled wryly, knowing that on a normal night he would not even be thinking of sleeping right now. But for his plan to work…

He lay down carefully, assuming the most natural position he could, and closed his eyes. Slowing his breathing, he waited several seconds, then coughed very loudly, the noise tearing at his already sore throat.

Light's eyes shot open at the sound. He shook L gently, unsure of whether to wake him. "Ryuzaki? Are you okay?"

L blinked his eyes. "I think I shall be fine, Light-kun—" He broke off as another round of coughs sounded through the room. "On second thought, perhaps a glass of water would be helpful."

Light, relieved that he could help, reached over to his bedside table. "Here, Ryuzaki, there's some left in my glass." He felt with one hand for L's hand, then pressed the glass carefully into the other man's palm. L went very quiet for a moment.

"You want me… to drink out of your glass?"

"Well, yes," Light said, sounding puzzled. "You need water, don't you?"

"Yes, but… the glass _you_ drank out of?"

"_YES,_ Ryuzaki. I've been here for months, you know I have no germs that you don't by now!"

Light obviously did not understand the significance of this, but hey, L would take what he could. He was worried now, though, that Light was too awake for his plan to work. "Light-kun? Are you tired?"

Light sighed. "Of course I am." Sensing what L was about to suggest, he added, "but I'm not going to sleep while you can't."

L smiled to himself. Light certainly sounded tired. "Very well then, Light-kun. What shall we do to keep ourselves entertained?"

"I don't know. You're the one who wants to stay up in the first place."

L's eyes sparkled with a combination of mischief and excitement. "Light-kun, why don't we play a game?"

* * *

O.o There's a lot of sighing in this story. I just realized that. And yes, the Truth chapter is next. -Can't wait-  
It's really sad when you're excited about a new chapter of your own story.


	8. Today's special is Chicken

Well, look who finally showed her face around here. I looked at my calendar today and said something along the lines of "oh shit, is it really Wednesday?" Yeah. Anyway, lately it seems that all the fics I've been reading involve fighting over who gets to be seme, and it's starting to depress me. SO, in this fic the seme will be clearly defined. Of course, as I have no preference *COUGHLFOREVERCOUGH*, I am letting you guys pick. So review and tell me, damnit!

* * *

Light's eyes narrowed. "What kind of game, Ryuzaki?"

L cocked his head as if in thought, but of course he knew what game he would suggest. "Why not a game of Truth, Light-kun?"

"Truth?"

"Yes, where we ask each other questions and must respond truthfully, thus the name of the game."

"Yeah, but why not Truth or Dare?"

"Do you really see me performing whatever dares you might think up for me in my condition? Besides, it would be unsafe to play Truth or Dare with Kira, as he might make me do something dangerous."

"But…" Light started, sounding perplexed, "you wouldn't have to do the dare if it's dangerous."

L's eyes, the only thing visible in the room, seemed to glow at him. "That wouldn't be a very fun game, Light-kun, if you could just back out of things."

_He really is serious about this,_ Light thought. _I guess I'd better be serious too._ "Very well, who starts then?"

"I will." Seeming to think for a moment, L turned towards Light. "Is Light-kun Kira?"

"That's easy, Ryuzaki. Of course I'm not Kira," Light said, slightly irritated. If that was how the detective was going to play… But L spoke again. He was shocked, then, to hear the… almost belief in L's tone.

"You can't lie in a game of Truth, Light-kun."

"I know."

L seemed satisfied for the moment, as he nodded. "Okay. Now it is Light-kun's turn to ask me a question."

Light sat, stumped, for quite a while. What did you ask the great L? But all of a sudden, L spoke up: "you know, Light-kun, this feels almost like a sleepover when we were younger."

_If it's a sleepover, then you have to ask normal sleepover questions, right?_ And suddenly, Light had it. Perhaps not exactly a normal sleepover question, but hey, you had to change things to fit the situation, right? And it wasn't like he had other motives or anything. Really. "L, have you ever thought of kissing a man?"

L raised almost non-existent eyebrows. Why would Light ask a question like that? Unless, of course, he had ulterior motives. "As I must be truthful with Light-kun, yes, I have entertained thoughts of that nature."

Light's eyes widened. "So… you're gay?"

"No, Light-kun, I do not believe so, as it is only one man and I have never found myself attracted to any other man."

Light nodded, too shocked to remember that L would not see his head moving. His mind was backtracking. _He's… he's thought of… kissing? So he's not asexual. Well, it's not like I care. Although, it would be nice if that one man was me… No. No, it wouldn't. I'd just be flattered that he was attracted to me, and kindly tell him I don't share his feelings. That's exactly what I'd do._

He almost didn't hear L's question. "I see that Light-kun has opted for the questions asked by teenage girls. While I find no objection to that, it does raise some interesting questions about Light-kun's sexuality. Is Light-kun perhaps gay?"

Light almost laughed, but stopped himself. "Is that your question?"

"Yes."

"Truthfully, Ryuzaki, I don't know," he admitted. "I've never been attracted to guys, but I've never been particularly attracted to girls either. I've never given it much thought." He paused, unsure of whether or not to go on. It wasn't like L would ever know if he kept something from him now. But for some reason, he opened his mouth again. "To be honest, there's only two people I've ever really been attracted to, and one of them is male. So what does that make me?"

L shrugged, but by this time Light's eyes had adjusted enough to see the gesture. "Love is love, Light-kun. I wouldn't call you gay or straight. I think you're just picky."

"Picky? Hmm, I suppose…"

"Does Light-kun wish to end this game right now? If he is uncomfortable with answering questions, I will allow him to do so."

"I'm fine, Ryuzaki. Let me think of a question." _Damn him, he got something out of me. How can I be so open about my feelings? Well, I'll just have to make him tell me something._ "Ryuzaki, are you a… a virgin?"

"If you mean in terms of penetration, Light-kun, then yes, I am a virgin. However, if you are speaking of sex in general, then no, I am not. What about Light-kun? Is he a virgin?"

Light squirmed uncomfortably. He hadn't expected his own question to be thrown back at him. "Er, well, yes."

"On both counts?"

"…Yes."

"I am surprised. I had thought, with Light-kun's many girlfriends, that he would be quite experienced in that area."

Light shrugged, still slightly embarrassed. Then again, the man _was_ older than him. It stood to reason that he'd be more experienced. "I never found anyone I wanted to… you know… _that_… with."

L smiled, sure that Light's face was flaming red, although he could not see it. The boy was so cute when he was embarrassed.

"I see. May I remind Light-kun that when he does find someone, to practice safe sex?"

"…I already knew that, Ryuzaki."

"If Light-kun ever feels the need to do so with Misa, I keep an emergency pack of condoms in my—"

"HEY RYUZAKI WHY DON'T WE GET ON WITH THE GAME?"

L smiled. This was much more fun than he had planned on. "In that case, Light-kun, I believe it is your turn to ask me a question."

Light's demeanor seemed to change. While before he had been embarrassed, he now seemed only afraid of what L's answer would be. In a small voice, he asked, "do you… do you really want me to be Kira?"

An uncomfortable silence stretched between the two as L thought, unsure of how to reply. "I… don't think so, Light-kun. Although I would like to be right in my assumptions, and I would like to catch Kira… I would not like to lose my only friend." He smiled slightly and turned towards the younger man. "Does that answer your question?"

Light made a face. "I guess. It's not exactly the answer I was hoping for, but it's better than I expected. What about your question?"

L nodded. As entertaining as Light was, this was getting boring. Time for the reason that they were playing this game in the first place. "Light-kun once mentioned to me that he desires someone other than Misa. Who is this person?"

"I… don't want to tell you…"

A glimmer of hope flared in L's chest. If Light was too embarrassed to tell, it would be someone L knew personally. The only test left was to see if Light's fear of being found out was stronger than his pride. "Very well, Light-kun. Are you Chicken?"

Light hung his head. "Yes," he whispered.

And that was all the answer L needed.

* * *

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I am a horrible person, and yes, I do get a sick twisted joy out of doing this to you. (Just kidding, I actually just couldn't tack on the rest of the chapter without it sounding funny) Honestly, if you flame me I completely agree with you, even though it's not nice to flame.

But I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE you guys that the next chapter will be up by Christmas at the latest. I bet you guys don't even beleive me by now, but just you wait. I'll show you.


	9. How did you sleep?

W00t! I actually got this one out before Christmas! Or whatever holiday you celebrate. Let's say... December 20. Yeah. Anyway, my seme question still stands, if you care. And so, here is your nondenominational Decemberween update!

Disclaimer: I forgot this on the last two or so chapters, but I don't own Death Note. I gotta write a note to myself to remember these things.

* * *

"I see." Was all L could say.

"G'night," Light mumbled as he sat up and began to slide off the bed.

"Light-kun, where are you going?"

"I'm going to work."

"No."

Light paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned around, tears pricking his eyelids. "What do you mean, no!?"

L spoke calmly, although he hated to see the teen in such distress. "I mean, Light-kun, that you are not leaving this room."

L could _see_ Light's temper flare, then die as he slumped against the door. "Why are you doing this? Do you get some… sick pleasure from torturing me like this?" He glared at the detective from his defeated position. "You sick freak. I can't believe I thought you actually meant it when you said you were my friend."

That hurt. It shouldn't have, because L knew that Light wasn't thinking, but it did. L narrowed his eyes at the distraught boy in front of him. "I was under the impression, Light-kun, that at the time we were _both_ lying." He took a breath. He would not say this. He _could not_ say this. But he had to. "Light-kun, we have not finished our game. Therefore, you cannot leave."

Light snapped. "Our _game_? Is that all this was to you? A game?" This time the tears sprang unbidden from his eyes, and he turned away so that L wouldn't see him.

"This is not a game, Light-kun. I dare you to come back here."

Light looked up warily. "Why?"

"Because I can't come to you."

Light didn't want to go to the detective, but somehow he found his feet moving of their own accord, back to the bed. He didn't want to hear what L had to say, not now. But as he reached the L, the man gently rested a hand on his shoulder in an almost comforting gesture. _What is this? Is he toying with my emotions?_

"Light-kun did not give me a chance to answer my own question."

Light tried to pull back, but L's grip on his shoulder was strong. "Oh yeah? And what would that be?" He tried to sound as cynical as possible, but some of the hurt and embarrassment showed through his voice.

"You have to ask me the question, Light-kun." L beckoned for him to lean in closer, which he did, wondering why the detective needed him to bend down.

"Fine. Who do you like? Wait, how did you put it? Oh yeah, who do you 'desire', was it—"

Light suddenly found it impossible to talk, as a pair of lips was pressed against his own. He gasped in shock, and L took that opportunity to push his tongue into Light's mouth. Light, never being one to lose, kissed back, unconsciously twining his arms around L's neck. His mind was racing, as was his heart, but fairly soon his mind shut down and it was all he could do to support himself. L… L was kissing him. L was _kissing_ him. And he was kissing _back_. It took Light's brain a while to come to this conclusion, but when it did, he pulled away hurriedly. He half-ran, half-stumbled on legs that felt like jelly towards the door, not looking at the detective.

"Light-kun…?" L called after him, but he didn't slow his pace.

"Stay away from me!"

L reached out a hand as if to bring him back, but dropped it. Well. That went well.

----

Light couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. _It's all L's fault! He set up that whole game just for that!_

And yet… he had enjoyed it. It had been…nice, he supposed, kissing L. Not nice enough to want to do it _again_, but nice. It hadn't tasted nearly as sweet as he'd expected. More like a faint strawberry taste… _I'm getting sidetracked,_ he told himself fiercely. _I just have to think about this. I just need some time._ He leaned forward slightly, resting his head against the cool porcelain of the toilet. He didn't _feel_ like he was going to throw up, but he must, right? He had to, after kissing L. It was the only plausible reaction. And he was **not** ready to admit that he had wanted that any more than he wanted to be Kira.

_Oh yeah? Then why did you kiss back? Seemed like you were enjoying yourself to me,_ came a small, but very insistent voice in his head. _Come on. You think he's so cute when he does things like that, don't you? Why waste the perfect opportunity? Go back there._

_NO,_ the majority of Light's brain responded. _I won't go back and let him win. He's already fooled me into being… attracted to him. I won't fall for his little tricks again. There's no way he likes me back._ But even as he thought this, Light knew that the voice in his head was right. He should go back. He really should. But not right now. He couldn't deal right now. _Just give me twenty minutes…_

----

That was definitely not how he had expected his first kiss with Light to be. A first kiss should be chaste and timid, right? But of course, Light was the exception to everything. _I must have scared him off, though… Maybe I shouldn't have been so forward._

Ah, well. Too late now. He would just have to wait and see what Light did.

Unless, of course, Light didn't do anything.

----

"Good morning, Light-kun."

"Morning, Ryuzaki."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Never better."

To the task force, who had moved into Light and L's room for the time being, nothing out of the ordinary was going on between the two men. But even Matsuda could feel the tension building, until Light finally stood up.

"I'm going outside."

"I'm afraid I can't let you, Light-kun. You see," L said, miming a chain connecting his and Light's hearts, "we are still chained in spirit."

"Ryuzaki, _I'm going outside._"

L simply nodded. "If you must."

"Ryuzaki, do you want me to go after him?" Soichiro asked.

"No. He will come back when he's had some time to think."

"Ryuzaki, ahh, did… did something…happen between you two?"

"You could say that," L muttered darkly.

Soichiro shook his head. "Forget it. I don't want to know."

* * *

Thank you all for your reviews! Next chapter's going to be really awkward. :) I can't wait.


	10. Lover's spats abound

Oh my god, I actually got this to you guys before Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, think of it as a Decemberween present!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Death Note, but I don't

* * *

"Light, L says you should come back. It's getting dark out."

"I'll be fine, Matsuda."

"Come on, Light. As a Kira suspect, you can't be out here unsupervised."

"Screw Kira."

"You mean figuratively, or as in—"

"Shut _up_, Matsuda."

Light sat with his knees tucked up to his chest, arms looped loosely around his calves. He was shivering in his flimsy cotton shirt, but there was no way in hell he would show that. He let his gaze drift out over the edge of the roof and settle on the gently blinking lights on the horizon.

_I bet they don't have lights like this in England,_ he thought. _I'd definitely miss them if I married L and moved back to England. What? Marriage? I'm not going to marry L! It was just a kiss! I've kissed Misa, but that doesn't mean I'm going to marry her. Just a kiss…_

"Earth to Light!" Matsuda waved a hand in front of Light's face as if checking whether or not Light could see him.

"Matsuda, get out of my face."

"Oh. Sorry." Matsuda's face developed a pleading look. "Please, just come inside. L will get mad at me if you don't, and you know what he's like when he's mad!"

Light sighed, taking pity on the detective. "Alright. I'll be right in."

"Shouldn't I stay out here to make sure that you—"

"I'll come in, Matsuda, I just need some time."

"Okay…" Matsuda looked unsure, but walked backwards towards the door leading inside, watching Light the whole time. He paused at the door. "I don't know what it is, but you can't let it get in the way of the investigation. Kira doesn't stop so you can mope. That's all."

Light nodded and stood slowly, brushing imaginary specks of dust off his clothing. Matsuda was right, of course. But how could he face L after running away like that? _If you don't face him, you'll just keep running away,_ the treacherous voice in his head reminded him.

_What if I want to run?_ He retorted.

_Tough luck._

_----_

"Light-kun, we need to talk."

"I see nothing to talk about, Ryuzaki."

L sighed. "Light…"

Light rounded on him unexpectedly. "What? You think you can, can… kiss me, and just get away with it? I think the time for talking is over, Ryuzaki."

L fidgeted. "Light, I'm sorry. I didn't think. When you were so embarrassed, I was sure that it was me. It never occurred to me that you might not return my feelings."

Light stared at the uncomfortable detective. "Return…? Do you mean…"

"Yes, Raito, I care for you, probably much more than I should."

"Oh…" Light said in a very small voice. "You thought… that I didn't?"

"I don't know," L replied earnestly. "Do you?"

"I…" Light stopped, his throat dry. It was now or never. "I think so."

And with that, L was kissing him again, much more gently than the first time, but still enough to make Light want to moan. How could one simple action feel this good? Without thinking, he responded, running his tongue over the detective's lips hesitantly, but gradually gaining confidence as L opened his mouth slightly, allowing Light to explore this newfound territory.

It was when they broke apart, breathing heavily, that Light noticed L's hand, which had crept under his shirt.

"N-no, L, please…stop, please…" he gasped. "I…I c-can't do this. Not yet."

"Why not?" The detective murmured against his lips, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine.

"B-because," Light said, wracking his brains to figure out _why_ he couldn't do this when his body obviously wanted it so much. "We can't…it's just—this isn't real. We just need to be away from each other for a while."

"Light," L sighed, and Light noticed that the older man had still not moved from right next to his face, "you are entitled to your own emotions, but just know… what I feel for you is real. I don't know how deep it goes, if at all, but me wanting to molest you at this very minute is not in either of our imaginations."

Light shook his head, pushing away. "How can I trust you? How do I know you aren't… toying with my emotions?" As much as he hated to say such a _weak_ phrase, it was all he could think of, especially with L so close.

"So you're admitting that you have feelings for me?"

"You're so presumptuous! I say I like someone, not you, and you decide to go and kiss me!"

"I was right, wasn't I?"

"…Yes."

Light put his hands on L's shoulders just as the man was leaning in again. "Dammit, L, you can't just kiss me every time I admit that I like you!"

L cocked his head, which couldn't have been very comfortable in the position he was laying in. "I can't? I though it was appropriate for lovers to be affectionate."

Light could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, and, to his dismay, somewhat lower as well. "L-lovers? We're not lovers! It's just kissing!" He shouted, unsure of why he was so embarrassed.

"That may be true for the moment, Light-kun," L murmured, "but it could be so much more…"

"Get away from me," Light growled, "and don't come back until you've learned how to control yourself."

"Very well, darling," L said, kissing him once more, quickly this time. "I will try."

Light pulled away reluctantly, telling himself that he did _not_ want those lips back on his _in the slightest._

----

"So."

"So indeed, Light-kun."

"How…?"

"I have slept in the same bed as you for over a month and I have not molested you, Light-kun. Do you doubt my honor now that we have revealed our feelings?"

"…Yes."

"I promise I shall be entirely honorable."

"Fine. Good night."

"Sleep well, Light-kun."

"Ryuzaki."

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"Get your hand. Off. My. Thigh."

"I apologize, Light-kun. I must have clutched onto it in my sleep."

"Like hell."

----

"Oh, hey, Light! How are you doing?"

"Fine, Matsuda."

"Hey, did you and Ryuzaki get over that lover's spat?"

Light spat out his coffee. "L-lover's spat?!" _Did he know…?_

Matsuda patted him on the back jovially. "Relax, Light, I was just kidding. You shouldn't be so uptight about everything."

_Easy for you to say…_

"Light-kun! There you are! I have potentially made a breakthrough on the case. Would you come here please?"

"Sure, Ryuzaki." Light walked back to the bed, picking up his laptop and joining the raven-haired detective.

"I will email you the case files," L told him.

Light nodded, waiting. When he saw the email alert in the corner of his screen, he clicked it, expecting an attachment. He was surprised to find a message as well:

_Light-kun, finish this and maybe we can go to bed early tonight ;)_

Light slammed down the top of his laptop. "That's it, Ryuzaki! I'm not going to be your fuckbuddy!"

Everyone in the room fell silent. Finally, Soichiro broke the silence in a weak voice: "L, I thought I told you I was not happy with your relationship."

Light sank down onto the bed, head in his hands, while L looked at him with an expression of mild disappointment. "You won't?"

* * *

Okay, this is probably odd, but whenever I read about Light and L sleeping in the same bed, I always think of it as a four-poster, maybe with a canopy. I know that's impossible with the chain and all, but I was just wondering if anyone else has this problem?  
And, of course, review please?


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